I was recently reading about Mary Oliver, the American poet who lived from 1935-2019. She passed away in January of 2019. I have often read and enjoyed her works. She wrote of nature and spending time in ways that allowed one to be present in the moment. Reportedly, many of the inspirations for her poems came from the long walks in nature she took on a regular basis. She chose what to do with her time…how many of us can say the same?
In my 15 years of private practice, working with thousands of clients, a theme that runs through much of the malaise I encounter is stress. Stress and a lack of fulfilment are rife within our society. Many people are taking their cues about what constitutes a happy life from the media and marketers whose job is to make us think there is a special marker of success that will translate into feeling satisfied. Most of us fall short of the shiny, carefully sculpted vision of the so called good life that we are supposed to achieve. But what if that is largely a manufactured idea that actually just makes us buy more, spend more, and seek more…everything.
For a number of years I have been practicing finding fulfilment from the inside out in contrast to from the outside in. It essentially means turning inward and allowing our somatic (or body state) to tell us where, with whom and when we are content and when we are not. In my own life, the message was clear that I never felt content shopping, or in competitive pursuits…but I almost always feel peace walking with my dog at the beach. I began to use my body as a barometer of comfort and correctness for how to live my life. Of course, we all have certain tasks in life we have to do and I am not suggesting we should only engage in activities that feel pleasing. I am suggesting that we raise our awareness of what our bodies are saying to us and take note.
Does it really make sense, given the finite amount of time we have to live, to spend the largest amounts of our time in jobs, relationships, duties or activities that are stressful, uncomfortable and unsatisfying?
The New Year is an excellent time to reset our course and lean into new ways of being. Although not a fan of New Years Resolutions, I do support the idea of using this important time marker as a motivator to review, reflect and adjust. Creating a space for an emotional shift in perspective and lead to major and lasting change for many people. Taking stock lets us know where we are full and where there is lack in our lives. The truth is that a satisfying life is built, piece by piece. The wise soul looks inward to discover what is needed for satisfaction. The options are endless…and each of us has a slightly different set of core needs and values upon which a satisfying life can and should be built.
We are days away from, not just a New Year, but a NEW DECADE! How often does this event realistically happen in ones life, 8 times? It is a momentous occasion and we can use the motivation created by the event to move toward a life we want to live within. Once we have a better idea of where in life we thrive, or at least are at peace, we can set in place incremental steps to help us experience more of whatever that is in our lives. We can choose to move away from the stressed out, material based, rat race that leaves many of us cold and dissatisfied. Few biographies tell the tale of people who followed their inner compass and regretted having done so. It may well be the only authentic way to live…
2020 photo by Jamie Street on unsplash
